How You’ve Changed Me

On October 25, 2013 at 9:47 am, I became a mom. Under the bright lights of an operating table, with surgeons, interns, specialists and nurses hurrying around, our little boy entered the world, forever adding a new title to my life’s resume.

In the 39 weeks leading up to that moment, my body evolved to enjoy all of the physical changes that come with pregnancy. I walked, led by my bump, a very round belly at the end. I felt the creaking of stiff joints, the discomfort of swollen feet. But I also never felt more beautiful; call it the “glow,” the hormone induced shiny hair, or the knowledge that something amazing and one of a kind was also evolving within me.

In the months since, my soul and understanding of my body has evolved.  My arms have grown stronger to hold an ever growing boy, and operate often with one-hand.  My eyes have become more clear, while bleary at the same time, to see the magic in small moments.  Though tired, my hearing is sharper to understand a fuss, a cry and a squeal.  My brain, though foggy and often sleep deprived, is mastering rhyming and funny voices.  My lips are ready for smiles, all day (or night), bubble blowing and our favorite game of “kissy, kissy, kissy, kissy, muah!” My body, which grew this amazing, exploring, wondrous little person, now sustains life, too.

And, my heart has grown to love more deeply, fiercely and resolutely. And, that, with the stains, strains and pains of early motherhood, is true beauty.

For the mothers who came before me, my own and my grandmothers; the aunts, sisters, and sister-friends who support motherhood; and the women for whom motherhood is a longing in her heart, not yet realized, I honor you this weekend, and everyday.