Category Archives: Life Lessons

A New Sunrise


Two years ago this morning Mark and I got into a  white Jeep Wrangler and set out to drive to the top of Maui’s most majestic mountain, Mt. Haleakala.  At 10,000 feet it seems to kiss the sun good morning and goodnight and is a must do for anyone traveling to Maui.  When we were there it was so cold and sleeting, so we stayed bundled in the car. 

And, then we got engaged.  In a space that seems as wide open as the universe, it was a magical place to begin a life together that offers as many opportunities as the universe.

This video shares a bit of that Aloha spirit and the beauty of Hawaii.

In Maui it is not uncommon for people to skip the wild celebrations of New Year’s Eve and instead head to bed early in an effort to beat the sunrise on top of Mt. Haleakala.  

It is powerful concept to start the year off on top of the world.

I hope you have an amazing view today, too!

Just a Thought… on Magazines


This is a thought I have held true for a very long time, men’s magazines are better than women’s magazines.  There, I said it.  And, yes, I am the kind of girl that subscribes, buys and browses magazines.  If I am waiting, even in a short grocery line, I am reading a magazine.

True story: When I was 17 years old I purchased a wedding magazine at my local grocery store (Publix) and the cashier congratulated me and asked if I was getting married.  I love magazines, but I didn’t buy another wedding magazine until I was securely engaged (7 years later).

Anyway, I prefer men’s magazines over women’s magazines for actual entertainment for many reasons.  Primarily because when men’s magazines are being funny, they are actually funny, a little cynical, sharp, witty.  Of course there are the gross out jokes, the obviously shots, but the good men’s magazines actually make me laugh, or at least make me think.  When a magazine for women is being funny the humor stems from “this one time I got my period when I was wearing a white pencil skirt… my boyfriend walked in on me when I was bleaching my lip.”  That is not funny.  It is maybe embarrassing, it is awkward, sure, but more than that it tends to put down and degrades the events that fall into the category of “it could happen to you, at any time, you poor girl”  Haha, and when you do spill coffee on a silk blouse while catching the elevator and snagging a stocking on the way into a job interview, we’ll be laughing, you know with cute cartoon illustrations.

The other reason I enjoy men’s magazines is because no matter who they interview, man or woman, they speak to the reader the way it seems they (as a magazine) would want to be spoken to.  There seems to be a sense of partnership, camraderie between reader and writer, and like any good relationship it is mutually beneficial (the magazine stays in business, the reader learns something/confirms something/feels better about themselves).

This morning I read an article in women’ magazine written about the author’s struggle with dieting.  She yo-yo’d, she skipped crepes in France, banished butters and creams, and then would devour a box of Oreos, she went raw, she starved, and then after realizing that diet and exercise go together like peas and carrots (obviously, without a cheese sauce) she finally accepted that she was no longer a size 4.  This would never be in a men’s magazine.  

After reading the article I thought about all the ways that women, friends, colleagues, friends of friends, and myself have at one point struggled with body image, diet, exercise and being motivated to do the right things in order to feel right, never mind striving to look “right”, which today tends to mean a photo-shopped version of someone else.  Sidenote: you are rarely going to see an image in a retail venue, or magazine that hasn’t been photo-shopped.  I have been on the other side of the computer, and if the fabric doesn’t wrinkle the image isn’t real.

I find that magazines for women are designed to be aspirational, but tend to be so far out of reach that they become unattainable instead of inspiring.  The desire to live like a celebrity, look like a model, entertain like Martha, well none of it is possible for one person alone, they all have teams of people.  You don’t know about the teams of people when you read the article.  

When women are interviewed in women’s magazines they talk about how they’re adjusting to marriage, their favorite snacks for a tour to keep their figure and their favorite red carpet dresses.

In a men’s magazine they give a soundbite like this:
“A guy can come in and have a big beer belly and he doesn’t have to be anything but himself, whereas women have to wear the heels. We’re probably missing out on a lot of wonderful talent.” – Carrie Underwood, (Right on Carrie!)

That difference might be something to think about, you know, the next time you’re lingering at the checkout counter.

Thankful on Friday


As we go into the weekend, and also the first full week after Thanksgiving I am taking a moment to count my blessings.


This week, among many other things, I am thankful for:
  • My dad celebrating his 57th birthday – every birthday, I think, should be treated like a big birthday!
  • Having a favorite flower and a store that nearly always stocks them, and being able to treat myself to them nearly whenever I want.  **Extra points for recycling!
  • My little neighborhood has little restaurants, and very happily my husband is picking up take-out, also, very thankful for a quiet Friday night with nothing to do.
  •   Thankful to be celebrating birthdays and Hanukkah with family this coming Sunday, and doubly thankful that when I call my mom and cousin for a recipe they can recite it from memory in a moment’s notice – I’ll let you know how this one turns out!
  • Youtube.  I am thankful that today after seeing a piece of art with a song lyric on it, and then having it stuck in my head all day, I was able to find the song and get it out of my system.
  • My very old boots that have survived many snow storms, moves, faux Florida winters, and all the wear and tear of everyday abuse, and yet I cannot wear them without getting a compliment.  They have no label, they were purchased at Nordstrom Off the Rack and they are my favorite for Fall, and now that DC’s weather has officially snapped, winter too!
Kick your feet up this weekend, until next week – Carly

Thanksgiving Blessings


This morning I made baklava and mini pecan pies. My sister made honey glazed corn bread with a recipe borrowed from a friend.  My mom made three pumpkin pies, pecan pie, cranberry scones, and a turkey (just for leftovers). 

In the other room my husband and father are discussing business and books and music, and life.

Pretty soon we’ll all make an apple pie that we could probably all make in our sleep.

In a few hours we will go to my great Aunt J’s house and I’ll see my cousins, aunts, grandparents and celebrate all of the things we are thankful for.  But, truly we are really most thankful for each other.

This year has been a year of triumph and successes, trying and tears, new discoveries, beginnings and the continuation of the journey we call life.  That life is made more tolerable, more sweet, more enjoyable and that much more valuable when surrounded by people you love, and the people who love you.

I wish you the most peaceful of Thanksgivings, and hope you’ll have a moment to consider and celebrate all of the ways you are thankful. 

Thank you for reading and allowing me to share my journey with you.

Happy Birthday to Me, Almost


Twenty-three is old. It’s almost 25, which is like almost mid-20s.
Jessica Simpson, American Singer (1980 – )
Thanks Jess…

In a week I will be 26.  I have always put pressure on 26, because it’s my birthday that will match my birth date (26 on the 26th).  It is completely arbitrary and I am not quite sure where I came up with it, but never the less, I feel pretty good about turning 26.  This has been quite the busy year.

In polling the Internet I came across many lists of “What to Do Before You’re 25/30”, and while there were some items on that list that will probably never happen there are a lot that have.

At 25 I, celebrated love and marriage with all of the women in my life, spent a weekend of slumber parties with my best girlfriends, ate late night pancakes at the IHOP – which sounds like as much of a bad idea as it was, planned the best party of my life, paid for said party, danced with my dad, danced a choreographed dance with my husband, gotten a massage and facial, been pampered with my mom and sister, gone to Mexico, scuba dived, ate real tacos in Mexico, tried tequila straight, bought a TV – finding the right TV is surprisingly hard, gone to the movies, got snowed in, played in the blizzard,  planned a trip, had a Passover Seder, went to Yellowstone National Park, climbed serious mountains, ate buffalo meat, saw a bison – this close, bought a house, packed up our entire condo, moved, cried, made a home back in DC, celebrated the 4th of July from the top of the town, went to India, got sick in India, rode an elephant, tested my strength, mentally and emotionally, started a blog...

25 has been a great year, and I know that 26 will only be that much better, with even more to celebrate and that much more to be thankful for.

Counting down…

Something to Think About


A few months ago BrideTide tweeted on a Saturday morning, “Someone, somewhere is getting married today.”  It has stuck with me ever since.  

Obviously someone, somewhere is getting married all hours of the day and everyday of the week (Hello, Vegas!) but generally speaking in the United States wedding day is a Saturday.  Not too long ago I drove past a beautiful old church just as the bride and her bridesmaids got out of the car and began to climb up the steps.  
I was overjoyed. I didn’t know that bride, I had never been inside of that church, but I truly felt so excited for her and them.  I mentioned that tweet from many months ago in an effort to get everyone to share my joy.  Mark nodded along, and then my sister pointed out other major life things happen all the time too: people die and babies are born.

That is true.  Check for the little sister.

Here’s is how I explained it is different.  Marriage is a birth of a new chapter for two people.  In some ways it is the death of their single lifestyles.  But, more than that, marriage (not the wedding) is an active choice.  It is the moment of “I choose you and I choose to go through life by your side.  Literally, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer – when you look around, that’s me, right by your side.” 
That moment that I caught that bride in, the excitement with girlfriends before the ceremony, the dress shopping, the registry, the ring, the proposal, that is nothing compared to that moment when you make the choice.  Getting married is not being married.  Being married is all that much better.

Check mate for the big sister.

Halloween is Full of Surprises


Four Years Ago Today I met Mark.  Let me tell you how we got there.

In high school my fall midterms always conveniently fell right on Halloween, so my teenage Halloweens were spent at the dining table in my parent’s house with text books and loose leaf paper.  
Then I went to college.

I was very lucky to be matched (fate has a weird way of finding you the right roommates) with girls who would plan, and seek out the most perfect Halloween/Holiday/Tuesday night.  Freshman year we were all still getting our footing and typically went out in a pack of 8+ girls, so the costumes were a bit “home sewn” as Tim Gunn might say.  That year I was a flapper, with a top from Loehmann’s, a skirt borrowed from a girl on dorm floor, and a boa that I was magnetically pulled towards.

Sophomore year I was home for a wedding, no costume, but a great dress none the less.

Junior year.  This is is where it really begins.  There were just the four of us (Jaci, Cara, Liz) and we decided we’d make more impact together than we would apart.  We all had our own motives for a Halloween costume; and I won’t out anyone else, but I personally set out to look cute in a costume, the scary and funny is not for me.

We bought this:
Ghostbuster Costume via Dressy Costumes
We made this: 
You can’t tell but those jumpsuits were taken apart, taken in, and hemmed into very chic Halloween Couture dresses.

It’s Senior Year.  Time to go out strong.  We all four live together for the first time.  We have become more than just roommates and friends, we became a troupe.
A troupe with a friend who is a Disco Alien
We went out for a bar crawl starting at Ozio, a bar I had never been to before and have only since been back during my bachelorette party).
And that’s where I met Mark.  I was with my best friends, in costume, in a bar that I would never normally go to.  He was with his best friend, in costume, in a bar that he had never been to before. I think looking back we were both a bit anti-Halloween that year.  I definitely put up a fight on the costume, and the plans.  But, again, fate has a funny way of making the right matches.

I asked him what he was supposed to be.  (He looked like Tony Montana (Scarface) but was actually dressed as Pablo Eskobar, if you do a little research you’ll see the costume is fairly universal.)  He asked me if I was dressed as Winnie Cooper (Wonder Years).  
 
I told him I was a “rock star” – and that was the “hook”.   He left his friends and joined our party and that night we changed numbers, shared dances and shared a kiss.

Since then we have dressed up as the Dukes of Hazzard and Olympians, (last year we were in South Beach for wedding planning).

 
I am lucky for friends who pushed me to embrace the night, and I am very lucky for a partner, best friend and husband who pushes me to embrace everything in life.

I hope your Halloween provides as many treats as mine did, and continues to do.

Happy Halloween and Happy Anniversary to my Husband, I love you.
 
 

On Finding Inspiration


Thirty years ago today my parents got married.  

My dad had the remnants of an Afro, my mom had stick straight hair and wore a simple polyester gown.  They were engaged for nine weeks – not a lot of time to plan a wedding by today’s standards but long enough to plan a marriage.

My bouquet wrapped with lace from my mom and mom’s veils, 1313blog.com
My parents follow in the footsteps of their parents; my maternal grandparents have been married for 56 years and my paternal grandparents for 62 years.  As I grew up I would observe my grandparents, and the “funny” things they would do, and now that I am older I see the same things in my own parents.  
They look after each other.  They have stories and memories that could fill books.  They do the little things; pick up the dry cleaning, make the perfect cup of coffee, prepare a sandwich just the right way.  They are for each other the right fit: a partner, a friend, and a love.  They still flirt with each other.  They sing, and share the same music; the music of their own lives.  They are fierce parents (and grandparents) and have created homes that welcome their children, and (grandchildren, and great-grandchildren).  They are still very much in love; my dad proves it to me every time he makes comments on my mom’s new hair cut, toned arms, great smile.  
I am so lucky to have an example of a long and fruitful marriage to look at, learn from and aspire to.
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, wishing you many, many more years of love, happiness, and health.

On Standing Up and Being an Ally


Ellen talks about it, Anderson Cooper talks about it, Fort Worth City Council Member Joel Burns talks about it, and it’s only fair that we start listening: no one chooses to be different, no one wants to be an outsider, and no one under any circumstances should be made to feel like an other or unloved in any stage of their life, ever.  

In light of the teen bullying crisis across our country my dear friend Jaci, and a true GLBT Ally, has created an online community found here: http://weareallies.tumblr.com/ All members of the GLBT community and their supporters are invited to share their story and their support.  
Here is my story and my pledge of support. 

I grew up in the suburbs of South Florida; at the cross section of Cowboy Country and Rodeos and the designer boutiques and synagogues.  I fell into the latter camp.  Growing up I did not know GLBT teens, and the adults that I did know were all by association; the former rabbi at our synagogue, the Cantor, a hebrew school educator, a music teacher — come to think of it our Temple was a pretty balanced experience.  
Not until college was I fully immersed in an environment of young adults who were actively engaged in finding and being themselves; gay, straight, still deciding, it didn’t really matter at American University. 

At AU, I truly believe that students were able to answer the question “Who are you?” and not “What are you?”  We are all human beings and that will always be the answer to the second question, nothing more, nothing less.  

In my four years as an Eagle, I was very lucky to make friends with some of the most unique, spirited, passionate, creative, dedicated to whatever their cause, kinds people I could ever hope to exist.  That family of friends is all kinds of different; artists, actors, politicos, writers, friends, lovers, marrieds, singles, and we are all better for having each other in our lives. 

I don’t see this as a political issue, this is a human issue.  We are better people when we love each other, and don’t waste our time with the folly of hatred, bigotry, racism, sexism, and narrow mindedness.  I am better because of the people in my life who have broadened my horizons and shown me the very beautiful and colorful ways of living, and loving.

I will never forget the day that Mark and I got married; we were surrounded by all of our friends.  I was so lucky to be able to get married, and publicly make that commitment to the man I love.  Towards the end of that night, after a swing on the dance floor with my very talented friend I whispered in his ear, “I can’t wait to dance at your wedding.”  

And I’ll hold onto that promise until we can all dance and celebrate each other.

If you are so inclined, please share your support at http://weareallies.tumblr.com/ and share with your friends and family.

Life Lessons in Shopping


Rarely does shopping provide too much in the way of “Life Lessons.”  

Sure there are a few: if you see a splurge but must-have item walk away, and if you’re still thinking about it in 2 days go for it, or if you find the best fitting pair of jeans/swimsuit/bra buy multiple pairs because there is nothing better than a great pair of jeans/swimsuit/bra.   

But now I’ll share a life lesson that was reinforced by shopping.  Almost a month ago I bought a beautiful pair of boots.  They were designer, and gorgeous and would probably last forever, however they were very expensive.  
Salvatore Ferragamo Fersea via Zappos Couture
I couldn’t stomach the idea of wearing them and scratching them up, and I knew they weren’t for keeps when I found myself looking at other boots online the very next day.  

In the online search the next day I found another pair that was definitely within my price range and seemed to hit all the right notes of what I was looking for.  But, I waited.  I had lots of excuses.  I was going to India in a few days, and I hadn’t tried them on yet, and I wasn’t completely sure how they would fit, so I told myself when we get back from India I’ll go to the store and just buy them.  How clever, then I would also save on shipping!

When I got back from India they were sold out.

Poor little blogger girl lost her boots?  Not quite.  There are many, many boots out there, but the larger lesson learned and reinforced by my life that exists outside of my favorite online stores and this blog is that life doesn’t wait, and that the unexpected does happen.  And we must always be ready to go and take it head on and win – yes, I’m that competitive. 

Wishing you a weekend full of adventure, wherever you may find it.